AK Skim Complete Guide Service - OPENING

[AKSkim]

Greetings my fellow NEFF...er's

Re-introducing AK Skim's Complete Guide Service .

There are many guides out there to choose from, why AK Skim's Complete Guide Service you might ask?

For the fun of it.. That's why dip shit.

I provide expert service for all skill levels.

A total boob... I can show you how to tie a fly on your tippet.

A moron... I will teach you how to "swing a wet fly" like MacFoole.

Average most probable fly fisher, I shall watch with the best of them.

A very experienced at fly fishing, you get to watch me fish and make suggestion.

A great fly fisher... It's party time baby.. We head off to Maine... I pay.

My time is limited, so sign up now while that date is still open.


August 12-14th for a The Western PA Adventure Trip of a Lifetime.

September 11th thru the 19th for a The Western Maine adventure trip of a Lifetime.

In October I still have 34 dates for the salmon run on the Salmon River Adventure Trip of a Lifetime are still available - lodging free
.
In November all 17 dates are still available.


AK Skim's Complete Guide Service will be doing a AK Skim's Complete Guide Service
special mid-western trip and a fall Great Smoky Mountain National park trip in 2012.

Call now to reserve your spot on the NEFF's team guide service now.

1-800-4 AKSKIM

or log onto

AK Skim's Complete Guide Service . com

The only NEFF complete guide service, with brunch served streamside.






Rates depending on the number of thumbs up you have given me in the past.


Now don't be late because you will be last.

 

[MACFLY]

I have only one question. How much?

 

[Trouser Trout]

I would like to be under your employ. Granted I may be the least accomplished fisherman on the site. But, I am better at everything else. I prefer to be on a commission basis, base salaries are for underachievers and those afraid of risk, reward, and challenging themselves. What say you AK?

 

[Rusty Spinner]

Based on a recent fishing trip to the upper D, my needs in a guide have changed. I now need to know from any perspective guide if he/she can drink a bottle of my booze the night before, crawl on hands and knees around the campfire, then back his/her truck into their own drift boat (smashing out the rear window and bending the tailgate), and finally to then lead a flawless guide trip the next morning and never complain all day long about either the truck, the boat, or the extreme hangover.

Until last week, I hadn't realized these were critical traits in a guide.....so now I'm inclined to ask these questions prior to any future bookings.

 

[AKSkim]

.... Until last week, I hadn't realized these were critical traits in a guide.....so now I'm inclined to ask these questions prior to any future bookings.

Well I am not interested in all that other stuff.






However, I am wondering if you would be interested in a position I have working the Mighty Delaware River this year?

As a member of AK Skim's Complete Guide Service -PRO TEAM*.

AK Skim's Complete Guide Service -PRO TEAM is not like other "Pro-Teams" that are out there.

No, as a member of AK Skim's Complete Guide Service -PRO TEAM it is a PAID (W2) Pro Team, not some fly by the night "Pro-team" in name only.

No Sir, the AK Skim's Complete Guide Service -PRO TEAM is for real and a PAID service.

At present we are taking one (yours) application for this position.








The AK Skim's Complete Guide Service -PRO TEAM member must have expert knowledge of the following

• Delaware River as a whole or in part there of;
• Knowledge of all fishing pools, and other areas where a good number of fishermen congregate.
• THE Mr. Boston Handbook
• A cheery personality
• Ability to weigh anchor and drift with the flow
• The ability to go 2 for 1, for every two drinks poured, one drink drank
• Only work on bright sunny days

This is the AK Skim's Complete Guide Service - Land Lubber's Hide Away Tiki Bar and Hair Salon that you will be the captain there of.







The person who was going to take the position this year fell through.

Literally


... and haven't heard a word from him since.



Lastly; waiting for the high water to go down and the alcohol license.

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* As a member of AK Skim's Complete Guide Service -PRO TEAM no cheap vise needed.
Why not take a gamble and booze it up.

I am betting on YOU RUSTY !

 

[Rusty Spinner]

OK, but only if it comes with a cool sticker!




(and we need to negotiate on that Mr Bosux thing but I'll wait 'till we're 7 drinks in)

 

[Rusty Spinner]

Here, I can't help myself. This is the kind of treatment you'll get if you book the other guys:

 

[Trouser Trout]

I do own a few Mr. Boston Bartender guides.

 

[Rusty Spinner]

I do own a few Mr. Boston Bartender guides.

TT - you trying to take my job??? :smokelots:

 

[Trouser Trout]

TT - you trying to take my job??? :smokelots:

I'm sure he has more than one position available.

 

[Rusty Spinner]

Yeah, that tiki drift boat is going to need a second man to steer it. Especially after the solar powered blender has been running near constant for a few hours...

 

[AKSkim]

I'm sure he has more than one position available.

Actually you are correct Trouser Trout.

AK Skim's Complete Guide Service -PRO TEAM does have an additional 4 positions open at this time.

I usually meet my clients stream side, starting in 2011 I shall give up my Ford Eddie Bauer Expedition and arrive via Palanquin.

 

[Simms]

I do own a few Mr. Boston Bartender guides.

Dont hate on the Mr. B...9.99 for a 1.75L up here...On a cracker and ketchup diet, it was the only potato juice we could afford at poor, undergrads...

 

[Trouser Trout]

Not hating at all on the Mr. B, we used to drink some shit called Vodka City Vodka, $8.99 for 1.75L. Stegmaier, Lord Chesterfield and
Yeungling were all under $6 a case, this was before somebody figured out Yeungling was a micro brew. But, AK wants to go high end on his outfitting service, so he needs a well rounded chap who needs to know his cocktails, knowing the contents of the Old Mr. Boston bartenders guide is a good start.

 

[Trout Nazi]

I'd like to apply for a position, and believe in simplicity. I know Captain and Coke, Stoli and Cranberry, as well as Clynelish, Macallan, Lagavulin, and Johnnie Walker. I shall arrive at streamside via Stuka.

 

[Trouser Trout]

My method of transportation will be via the Panzer with a keg of Beck's. Sporting a grin than can only be had after triumphantly celebrating and avenging the cowardly Treaty of Versailles, while riding the entire course of the Champs Elysees in my victorious Panzer, being greated by and properly saluted as the victor by the masses. That's trout nazi out front, setting the pace in the original Tour de France. He will heading AK's bike touring division.