Dog / Cats Diary! Pretty funny.

[Caddis]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I
am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded, must try
this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair... must try this on
their bed.

DAY 765
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of,
and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good
little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
plan.

DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no
good reason
I was chosen for the water torture. This time
however it included a
burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick
minds could invent such
a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between
my teeth.

DAY 771
There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I
could hear the noise
and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call
"beer.." More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due
to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage.

DAY 774
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems
more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the
other hand has got to
be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I
am certain he reports
my every move. Due to his current placement in the
metal room his safety
is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of
time...