Welfare Check

[Pete]

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well...You started it."

 

[AKSkim]

A guy walked into the local umemployable office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing my umemployable hand out. I'd really rather have a job."

The umemployable case worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a fly fishing guide. You'll have to fish around 250 days in 2011 on PA streams and the Salmon River (Altmar), and he will supply all of your beer.

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided free of charge. You'll also be expected to fish on his overseas holiday trips."

Then the LAZY "fly fishing guide", just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The umemployable case worker said, "Yeah, well...You started it."

I like my version better.

More truth to it, and that ain't no joke.