Catskill Mountain Man
Explore, and implore to explore
-THE NEW YORK SLIMES REPORTS-
An apparent outbreak of epic proportions is sweeping across the nations rivers and streams. Starting in (of all places) New Jersey and sweeping outward in a 360 degree angle people who are traversing near the banks are skinning their knees in numbers never before seen and recorded. One angler we brought in and interviewed at 8:30am had this to say "it sucked." The interview was short but he did have some strange demeanor, complained of a massive headache, seemed disorentated, asked for water every 5 mins, asked we moved the lights away from his eyes, and his breath was that of a bar floor. The tell tale signs of this terrible epidemic gripping this poor anglers body.
The army corps of Engineers have been called in are currently on their 2nd week of deliberations about how to approach this problem. Ideas range from lining the banks of rivers with pillows; straightening every stream and making readily accessible paths no more than 2 feet from said rivers and streams, forcing every angler with in the current (but rapidly growing) "problem range" to buy specially designed pillow and band-aid body suits, and telling said anglers that they are wusses and should just go home.
No set decision is being released or set to be released anytime soon, and the Army Corps of Engineers are said to be in their confrence room yelling and slinging what appears to be feces at each other. "But be rest assured good citizens of this great country" BoBo the Corp's spokes-ape (er..man) said earlier today in a press confrence; dressed in a fine suit and hat while smoking a cigar. "We wont stop our rationalizing researchification processes until the taxpayers money is almost completely gone."
-UPDATE-
Corp spokes person BoBo has been arrested following allegations he had multiple affairs with multiple females on the Corps Special Knee Skinning Epidemic board while the debating was in process AND accusations that hes been embezzling millions of bananas and taking bribes of hundreds of thousands of bananas from Dole.
More to come im sure
An apparent outbreak of epic proportions is sweeping across the nations rivers and streams. Starting in (of all places) New Jersey and sweeping outward in a 360 degree angle people who are traversing near the banks are skinning their knees in numbers never before seen and recorded. One angler we brought in and interviewed at 8:30am had this to say "it sucked." The interview was short but he did have some strange demeanor, complained of a massive headache, seemed disorentated, asked for water every 5 mins, asked we moved the lights away from his eyes, and his breath was that of a bar floor. The tell tale signs of this terrible epidemic gripping this poor anglers body.
The army corps of Engineers have been called in are currently on their 2nd week of deliberations about how to approach this problem. Ideas range from lining the banks of rivers with pillows; straightening every stream and making readily accessible paths no more than 2 feet from said rivers and streams, forcing every angler with in the current (but rapidly growing) "problem range" to buy specially designed pillow and band-aid body suits, and telling said anglers that they are wusses and should just go home.
No set decision is being released or set to be released anytime soon, and the Army Corps of Engineers are said to be in their confrence room yelling and slinging what appears to be feces at each other. "But be rest assured good citizens of this great country" BoBo the Corp's spokes-ape (er..man) said earlier today in a press confrence; dressed in a fine suit and hat while smoking a cigar. "We wont stop our rationalizing researchification processes until the taxpayers money is almost completely gone."
-UPDATE-
Corp spokes person BoBo has been arrested following allegations he had multiple affairs with multiple females on the Corps Special Knee Skinning Epidemic board while the debating was in process AND accusations that hes been embezzling millions of bananas and taking bribes of hundreds of thousands of bananas from Dole.
More to come im sure
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