Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer and was recently diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My mother and father were recently arrested for growing and selling marijuana within 100 feet of an elementary school. One of my sisters is a homeless alcoholic and the other is a heroin addicted prostitute. I have two brothers. One is serving a life sentence for the murder of a 5 year old and the other is under indictment for mollesting his three daughters.

I recently got engaged to a wonderful girl. I love her very much and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a bait fisherman?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation