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Thread: Evolution

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    Evolution

    Friend of mine emailed this to me, and, well....I just had to share.



    Here’s how it really happened:

    Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

    The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.

    Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

    The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: 1. Liberals. 2. Conservatives.

    Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

    Other men who were less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

    Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

    Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

    Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard Liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many Liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

    Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are Liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

    Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

    Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the Liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

    Similar Threads:
    Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

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    darthwader (06-01-2017)

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    Re: Evolution

    Hahaa this is great! It's pretty much spot on lol

    "Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid."
    -John Wayne

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    Re: Evolution

    Except you forgot conservatives used to be in favor of less goverment in people's day to day life,bit now they want to govern what u can or cam not put in your body.most of the coservatives are more worried about keeping their big business kronies happy hence shipping all the good jobs overseas instead of paying American workers all in the name of more profits. They also call for less taxes on these " job creators" which is all good but the only jobs they create are in communist countries I.e. China. Liberals ain't much better either but that enough ranting for now.

    Beads? We don't need no stinkin beads.

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    Re: Evolution

    Pipe down you boob
    Quote Originally Posted by trico mike View Post
    Except you forgot conservatives used to be in favor of less goverment in people's day to day life,bit now they want to govern what u can or cam not put in your body.most of the coservatives are more worried about keeping their big business kronies happy hence shipping all the good jobs overseas instead of paying American workers all in the name of more profits. They also call for less taxes on these " job creators" which is all good but the only jobs they create are in communist countries I.e. China. Liberals ain't much better either but that enough ranting for now.


    "Angling is extremely time consuming. That's sort of the whole point." - Thomas McGuane

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    Re: Evolution

    Quote Originally Posted by MACFLY View Post
    Pipe down you boob
    Conservatives using evolution against liberals. Now that is funny. Didn't even need to read the rest.

    I looked briefly for an equivalent liberal "theory of evolution" and couldn't find one. There aren't too many conservative-bashing websites around.

    From this I deduce: you are your own punchline.

    Thanks browntrout. Glad you shared.


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    Re: Evolution

    I looked at the few paragraphs as a joke...I laughed at the reality in stereotypes....not that conservatives are busy and liberals are lazy and tricky, but that all politicians and party liners are boobs who follow blindly the rhetoric of a certain party, there is no room for individual thought, just the back patting and yes people or you are the enemy of the party, no re-election for you!!!.....I am laughing at people who believe in career politicians, or that these thieving, lying, scum have any of your interests in mind.......make money, get re-elected...mix, repeat, retire and lecture more lies and propaganda for more money, all at our expense, yet we eat it up like a hungry dumb trout during a full blown Hendrickson hatch............

    "I'm not out on the river to win." -Kieth Rutherford

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    trico mike (02-19-2015)

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    Re: Evolution

    Lu,spot on. All politicians suck. They only care about special interests and campaign contributors. Now about those hendos,when they gonna hatch this year?

    Beads? We don't need no stinkin beads.

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    lightenup (02-20-2015)

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    Re: Evolution

    Quote Originally Posted by lightenup View Post
    yet we eat it up like a hungry dumb trout during a full blown Hendrickson hatch
    Now that's the way to work a political issue into a fishing forum.


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    Re: Evolution

    Quote Originally Posted by mudbug201 View Post
    Conservatives using evolution against liberals. Now that is funny. Didn't even need to read the rest.

    I looked briefly for an equivalent liberal "theory of evolution" and couldn't find one. There aren't too many conservative-bashing websites around.

    From this I deduce: you are your own punchline.

    Thanks browntrout. Glad you shared.
    How do you feel about the Big Bang theory?

    "Angling is extremely time consuming. That's sort of the whole point." - Thomas McGuane

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    Re: Evolution

    Quote Originally Posted by MACFLY View Post
    How do you feel about the Big Bang theory?
    One of the funniest shows on TV.


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    Re: Evolution




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